Skip to content
Basket

What to do if your loved one won't wear a personal alarm

8 minute read

A personal alarm can be a huge source of comfort and security to many people with limited mobility and/or health concerns, but the trouble is that it will only work if you remember to wear it.

Sometimes, older adults do not wish to wear something they view as a symbol of getting older and losing their independence. For others, conditions such as dementia can make it difficult to ensure the alarm is worn regularly.

Buying an alarm for an older relative that will sit in a drawer fails to alleviate the concerns that drove you to buy one in the first place. So, as well as choosing the right alarm, you will also need to take steps to relieve any worries or health barriers that might prevent the alarm from being used.

Read on for some advice and considerations that may help.

My loved one doesn’t think they need a personal alarm 

Some people see a personal alarm as a sign of lost independence or being incapable, so they might take it as an insult at the suggestion of wearing one. This can be a tricky scenario for everyone involved and can easily lead to ill-feeling if not handled with care.

Talk it through

First and foremost, it's crucial that you talk through your concerns with your loved one and give them the chance to have their say too. If you can, try to consider the following during your conversation:

1. Pick a good time and place. The ideal location is somewhere quiet, where you're not likely to be interrupted and where you both feel comfortable. Try to avoid picking a moment when either of you is emotional or stressed.

2. Try to stick to facts. Assumptions and unfair assessments of their capabilities will only worsen the situation, so base your concerns on indisputable facts, such as previous incidents or diagnosed symptoms.

3. Don’t patronise. You might feel frustrated if your loved one is reacting negatively to the idea of a personal alarm but be careful not to let it show in your tone. Unintentionally, patronising phrases will make the person feel like accepting the alarm will equate to accepting this patronising view of themselves.

4. Don’t scare or upset them. Constantly reminding a loved one of health risks or being dramatic about your concerns might just upset them. Gently ensure that they understand the risks and be grounded when explaining how an alarm could get them help quicker rather than creating fearful scenarios to scare them into buying one.

5. Be prepared for defeat. If your loved one is unprepared for an alarm, they're simply not ready. Keep the honest dialogue open and keep the conversation of their safety and wellbeing a rolling discussion you can bring up at any time. If the time comes that they feel an alarm could make things easier, they'll know that you're ready to help them get one.

Address all concerns

If your loved one has a worry that stops them from wearing or using their alarm, it won't be able to provide the support it's designed for. It would help if you tried to talk to them as openly as possible about any worries and take the time to address them properly. Here are some common concerns that put people off personal alarms and some fact-checks that might reduce your worries:

  • It will be obvious that I’m wearing a personal alarm. While most of us don't object to wearing the alarm, we don't necessarily want to advertise that we've got one or have to explain it to people. With this in mind, Age Co Personal Alarms have several wearable options: around the wrist like a watch, hung around the neck like a pendant or some personal alarms can be attached to a keyring or belt.
  • I don’t want to carry a bulky or heavy alarm around with me all day. If you're going to be wearing your alarm all day, you need to ensure it doesn't become annoying. Age Co Personal Alarms are designed specifically for ease of use and comfort in mind. They shouldn't be noticeable in day-to-day life.
  • A personal alarm confirms that I’m no longer independent or self-sufficient. We understand why some people can't help but feel that a personal alarm is a threat to their independence. But we actually find that the opposite is true, and a personal alarm provides the reassurance to continue living independently. You will most likely find that it's easily forgotten about and makes no difference to your loved ones' perception of you, but that its presence gives you a little mental boost to do things without the worries that you might have had in the past.
  • I don’t want to waste anyone’s time by accidentally pressing the alarm or not knowing what situations I can use it in. We can assure you that you will not be wasting anyone's time when it comes to your personal alarm. Accidental calls happen all the time, and Taking Care’s Emergency Resolution Team will simply be relieved to hear that you're safe and well. No one likes to be a bother, but the Emergency Resolution Team would prefer that you call unnecessarily rather than worry about wasting anyone's time.
  • I won’t be able to press the alarm in time as I usually pass out. Some health problems involve a loss of consciousness, and you won't be able to press the alarm if you're not awake. After-care is very important in these scenarios, especially if you hurt yourself as you fall unconscious or are unable to get up when you come back around. A personal alarm will allow you to request help as soon as you regain consciousness and will ensure that your keyholder and/or key safe will be used to gain access to the property should you fall unconscious again. Also, Age Co fall alarms use intelligent algorithms that detect serious falls with a hard impact. Taking Care's 24-hour Emergency Resolution team will be called automatically when a fall is detected.^
  • I’m worried about accidentally breaking it. A personal alarm is not an everyday purchase, and you don't want to replace it every time it gets caught in the rain or dropped. Therefore, Age Co Personal Alarms have been designed to be secure so that you don't need to worry about them falling off and some of them are water-resistant so that you can even wear them in the bathroom.

Age Co Personal Alarms

Find out more

Consider the benefits of a personal alarm

It's important that your loved one understands the true benefit of a personal alarm. It's easy to dismiss them as something only elderly people use, and let's be honest, no one likes to think of themselves as "elderly". But once we stop all the negative connotations and see them for what they are – a quick and convenient method of getting help in an emergency – they suddenly make sense as a solution to many concerns and problems that older people experience. Here are just some of the benefits that your loved one might not have considered:

You can carry on with the activities that you love. Mobility problems can make certain activities, such as gardening or having a relaxing bath, more challenging, and some older people will give them up rather than risk running into trouble. A personal alarm can offer the confidence to continue, safe in the knowledge that if you experience a problem, you can press your alarm, and a trusted loved one will be there to help you.

You can stop family members from worrying. It's natural that loved ones will worry about you if you live alone or have had a health scare in the past, but it can bring on unwelcome emotions such as guilt at the amount of time they spend checking up on you or even annoyance at their lack of faith in your capabilities. A personal alarm can put all that to rest, and visits from your loved one can return to being a joyful catch-up rather than a health check.

You can speak to the right person first time. Sometimes, it can be difficult to know whether your health concern is an emergency, and you might put off getting help until later, especially at night when you don't want to worry anyone. By pressing your alarm, you can speak to the friendly Emergency Resolution Team who will help you assess whether you need help urgently or can give you some reassurance and advice if your situation is less serious.

You can feel safer in your home. It's understandable that some older residents might feel nervous about safety when answering the door or when locking the house up for the night. A personal alarm can give you the assurance that you can easily call emergency services wherever you are in the house or garden.

My loved one will forget to wear their personal alarm

It can be frustrating if your loved one forgets to put their personal alarm on in the morning, but arguments are unlikely to make much difference other than to cause bad feelings between you. Remember that they can't help it and certainly aren't doing it on purpose.

Place gentle cues around the house

Try putting yourself in their shoes and have a go at coming up with helpful cues that may remind them to wear their alarm. For example, if they prefer to take their alarm off when they are off to sleep but then forget to put it back on in the morning, consider putting a post-it note on the bedroom door reminding them to grab their alarm before they leave. Or if one of the main concerns is a trip or fall on the stairs, consider putting notes at the top and bottom of the staircase so that your loved one is always reminded to check that they're wearing their alarm before climbing them.

Make it part of the routine

Slotting the alarm into an established routine can also help those with poor memory to remember to put it on. For example, try putting a routine item such as a hairbrush and the alarm in the same place each night, ideally somewhere easy to access first thing and last thing in the day, such as a bedside table. When they reach this part of their routine, brushing their hair in this case, they should spot the alarm and be reminded to put it on.

Keep in mind that everyone is different, and you may need to try several different tactics before you find one that works. Don't forget to ask your loved one for their input on what might help them to remember, too. Most importantly, be patient. Some days might be worse than others, some efforts might take time to work, and some might stop working after a while.

The bottom line is that your loved one must have the final say on whether a personal alarm is right for them. If you feel strongly that they could benefit from one, then be honest, understanding, and sympathetic when bringing it up with them. But be aware that they may need time to come around to the idea and might need to address their concerns in their own way.

Age Co Personal Alarms

Find out more

Back to top